Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
