i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
