oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
