Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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