I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
