Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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