You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
