STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize