I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
