I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
