she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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