I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
