so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
