a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
