Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey