i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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