Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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