no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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