i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
