My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
