I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
