mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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