Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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