Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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