I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
where are my eyebrows?
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