Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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