my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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