Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You are the jesus of drinking
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
