It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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