I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
