hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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