found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
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I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
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I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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