my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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