Where did you get a picture of my penis
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
