Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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