I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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