good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
