i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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