what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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