she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
