I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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