Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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