there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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