Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
