There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
