I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
