Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i dont even know how to be here
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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