the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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