1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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