Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
