Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
