He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I love you. Go after that dick
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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