if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
