ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
