I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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