He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
