Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he wants to bone in the snuggie
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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