I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
