hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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