Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize